F V M C C Forth Valley Motorcycle Club Established 1966 The Ogri Rally 2005 Back down to meet the Ogri MCC's at their most excellent Ogri Rally.

One mans story

Last year I wrote the Ogri Rally was the best of the year for us. This year we returned with more of our club and none were disapointed. Yet again, even with a wee spit of rain on Saturday the OGRI lived up to expectations and was a fantastic doo.

Me and Carol had intended to ride down with Neily,Vicky, Gavin and Kim and were due to meet them at the services at the start of the M74 motorway at 09:30 hours. Having borrowed Big Billy's XJR1300 complete with full hard lugage we thought it would be easy done having loaded the bike up on Thursday night. 08:45, time to leave the house. Carol had placed the tickets in a secret safe location and when she went to get them they weren't there. OOPS. Mustve been a different secret safe location. 09:40 we were still frantically tryin to find them and having little luck. 09:45 phone Gavin or Neilly and tell them to head down and we'll see them there. Bummer. 11:30 we finally gave up the hunt and deciced to wing it praying that the Ogri had our names in the book as having paid. We arrived around 19:00 having been near 8 hours in the saddle and fortunately the Ogri were more organised than our selves and booking in was done with little fuss. Time to have a wee bite to eat and a few wee tinnies before heading up to the marquee to join the party.

The Ogri always has a great party atmosphere both inside and out and we were quickly on our way to oblivion. There being around a dozen of us the party was great. Dont ask me anything about bands or whatever coz I never pay attention and usually forget when I do. Think I spent most of the night getting drunker and drunker and gibbering a whole heap of shit so , sorry to anyone who's not interested in nuclear physics. We arrived back at the tents about 02:30 in the morning.

Saturday dawned just as I remembered it from before. Too bloody warm inside the tent again. While half the crowd were heading off for a wee visit to Cirencester the rest of us just lazed around the campsite enjoying the warm weather (well it was for us), drinking a few beers and having a wee blether (more nuclear physics. OOPS) We were enjoying the time so much we sat there untill the silly games started at 3 o'clock.

Same set up as last year but with a few wee twists chucked in. Since the Ogri are good sports at our rally we thought we'd join in and play with them. Without winning anything we managed to participate in everything. Great fun.

First up was the mad moped ride. A timed route around an obstacle course on a shagged out old twist'n'go. What a hoot wi folks fallin off all over the place and flyin off into the crowd. Nobody seemed to be heeding the warning not to use the front brake (no fekin use on grass) so when it came my turn it was disconnected. Wouldnt have mattered to me as I was just marginally under the 30 litres of alcohol per gallon of blood allowed by HM's constabulary on the road. Never quite made it to the finishing line coz they only left me a carb full of petrol so I got stuck between the logs when the engine died. A bit of quick thinking and I pushed it to the end. Might have won but was disqualified for putting my feet on the ground.

Then came the sack race with a difference. Get some big one ton carry bags from the builders merchants, stick someone in each and get two fellas to pull them round. Twist number one is to make it a simmilar cours to the moped course and have them drag you across the big rubber logs(ouch). Twist two is to blindfold the pullers. What a laugh coz once they started pulling you fell right into the arse of the bag and couldnt guide the pullers round. Needless to say with me in the bag and Steph and Billy pulling we had a massive pile up at the last bend and didnt get through to the final. Never laughed so much in all my life even though my arse was battered to bits.

Next up was designed to please us Sweaty Socks. Good old fashioned caber tossing. Never saw so many tossers in all my life. Again after some decent throws by Mark and Billy we were defeated abysmally. Tug of war came next. A team was formed and into the fray again. Think it was the Ogri's squad who dragged us up the field. Doh. Wrong way lads, you'r meant to be going backwards. The ladies had a go as well but in the true spirit of things were defeated. Then there was the welly throw with a twist. Wellys being dangerous things they were substituded with water ballons. Big Billy nearly won this but chucking them up a tree didn't count.

Next it was off to the star attraction. The water butt. Sit on a log above a tank of water and beat shit out of each other with inner tubes until you fall in. Always wanted a go in the past but being a mucky git I've never got a change of clothes with me. However Carol being organised as she is had packed me clean togs in the panniers. No excuses then I'll just have to challenge her on the pole. Obviously I beat her but was promptly attacked from the side and dunked. As I hit the bottom I felt something in my pocket. Oops Mr Nokia still working. Well at least it did after I got it home and dried it out. After a wee challenge with Neilly it was off to see the Jet trike then go back to the tents to get dried out.

Again we settled in and sat down with a few tinnies and missed the Saturday afternoon entertainment. Doh!.

By seven o'clock we were well oiled and it was off for some dinner. Its something the ogri do well. With all the kitchen staff wearing OgriMCC Catering teeshirts it all looked very proffesional and the looks weren't deceiving. The food was great and well priced as well. Being in the area it was now time to head for the bar in the marquee and start to party again. More beers more music more dancing and more gibbering drunken shite. (nuclear physics again)(sorry Vicky but its my pet hobby just now)(too much internet surfin). Enjoyed the bands but again dont ask who what or when coz I haven't a 4X2. Awards time, and again I've no idea except I know we won the UK Club Milleage again and the Long distance female award. There was a wee upset in our camp coz Carol, who had came down pillion on the XJR was awarded the trophy, but Katy who had rode down on her GPZ500 had actually been rider. After 2 seconds deliberation Carol decided that Katy deserved the trophy for her endeavour and gladly handed it over. Yip!! its a MZ250 all the way from Stirling Dave thought the journey down was just a jaunt so he returned home through Wales Sunday morning and we were all up quite early and displaying various states of hangover . After an excellent breaky courtesy of the Ogri catering crew (also a great way to get rid of your spare beer tokens) it was time to pack up and go. Then its twenty miles of good roads followed by 360 miles of motorway. . Big Thanks to the Ogri MCC for yet another great rally. See you all next year if not before